Several years ago I was in L.A. While there I spent my mornings "Celeb watching" at the CRUNCH Fitness on Sunset blvd. Every morning was the same. Walk in, sign in, see a few low level celebrities and then leave. But this particular morning would be different, as I headed to the front desk to sign in there was something different in the air. Then I noticed that Dave Navarro was on the treadmill in the back half of the room. WOW, Dave Navarro treadmills, i treadmill... goosebumps, huh?
I have been a fan of his since forever. So seeing him in person threw me into a strange, oddly, giddy mood. Which I can only imagine would be comparable to a school girl. I don't get star struck by celebrities, except musicians (they're cooler). I decided to head upstairs and avoid any strange out bursts or forced awkward banter on my part. Besides I figured the last thing he wants is some weird fan talking to him while he works out... What would I say to jump start the conversation anyway, "hey dude, can i smell your fingers?"
While upstairs i figured, this might be the only chance for me to meet one of my idols. So, I head back down to the treadmills... and unfortunately he had left and was probably back in the clouds eating gum drops, like all mystical creatures do... I thought to myself "damn, I missed my opportunity." I selected a treadmill at random (side note: there were a fuck ton more treadmills in this gym then I've ever seen) and began my sad Charlie Brown walk. Its heavily worn buttons are difficult to read so I just pushed a random button and the treadmill jumped to life. I then began looking around the room scoping for any other celebs and making mental notes of my experience while in L.A. "girl on stair master with a nice ass... piece of trash in the cup holder... yoga mats... part of an ipod cover in the other cup holder."
Then all of a sudden; like a spaceship landing, the men's locker room door swings open... everything slows down... lights flash in strobe of purple and red... smoke billows out... Then... Dave Navarro walks out! Gleaming in his rock godness... Now, I'm not gay but I'd have to hesitate if he asked me to rub wieners... (another side note: I found it odd that he had no shirt but he was wearing sunglasses... how did that happen? "No time for shirt but there's always time for shades) Mr. Navarro walks into the treadmill room and begins to walk down my aisle, in fact he's heading right toward my treadmill. That's right, I've unknowingly stumbled onto Dave Navarro's treadmill (aw man, we have the same tastes in treadmills and women). I try to play it cool or as cool as one can play it on a treadmill. So, I'm now moonwalking on the treadmill.
It then occurs to me "this ipod cover in the cup holder belongs to Dave Navarro." In a one smooth, cool motion (once again; as "smooth" and "cool" as I can pull off on a treadmill) I turned to The Great Navarro and hand him his ipod cover. (Now here comes the cool part.) He is within 3 feet. We are eye ball to bloodshot eye ball. He then speaks, like God speaking to Moses and says... are you ready?... wait for it... he says "THANKS BUDDY."
WHAT?! BUDDY?! I was just fine being two cool guys that treadmill with similar treadmill choices but like being knighted in England, I'm now and will always be Dave Navarro's buddy.
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